Friday, October 3, 2008

The lesson, as always... Mike's an idiot.

Just a little anecdote from the VP debate last night. Sonja and I were hanging out on the couch, watching Gov. Palin and Sen. Biden go back-and-forth, critiquing their answers and making judgments on their presentation. It was fun - a little adult break from the SportsCenter/Red Sox/Football that usually permeates the airwaves in my apartment.

So there we were, snuggled up on the couch. There was a break in conversation as we watched Palin answer a question and then, quietly, Sonja says, "Are you oogling her?"

(I was a dead man and didn't even know it.)

Without thinking (which is how I usually do things), I said, "No, I'm not oogling her. I think she's hot, but I'm not oogling."

Wrong. Answer. Idiot. Mike.

Let's just say that we didn't watch a single sentence more of the debate.

So, my advice to any of you guys who are watching or involved with any part of the political realm this fall. Do not mention that you find any candidate from either side remotely attractive. I don't care who's got a new hairdo or whether Barak looks yummy in khaki, just shut up about it. Cast your vote only on the politics and do not weigh in on any other debatable topics; you won't win.

In the spirit of the political season, I would now like to post a retraction from my press secretary:

Mike was under mental duress during last night's debate and therefore may have made vocal a lapse in judgment. He respects both parties and both candidates and thinks all of them are handsome all around, even if he can appreciate the quaint accent of a certain Alaskan governor (but that is mostly due to Tina Fey's dead-on inpersonation and not an actual taste for midwestern oooh, ahhhs and aaaais, dooncha knooow?). Governor Palin, although a handsome, older woman, is by no means "hot." Additionally, Rachel McAdams, Jessica Simpson, Natalie Portman, et al are also not "hot." Going forward, Mike will try to pause to give thought before voicing opinions while always respecting the feelings of other females who may be in the vicinity, earshot or within range of SMS text messaging.

4 comments:

Liz Williams said...

Aw, but John McCain is hot! Have you ever seen him in a speedo? Mmmm. =)

"When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.....
so, I took her to a gas station..... and that's how the fight started...."

Anonymous said...

Jessica Simpson is not hot? What planet is this?

Megann said...

ok, but Tina Fey....definitely hot, right?

lindabeth said...

Hmmm...the hot dilemma.

Think of it this way, most women we think of at "hot" have stylists and makeup artists to dress them up and present themselves that way to the public. Their photos are taken by professional photographers (in flattering light) and EVERY photo pretty much has a TON of photoshop work done to it, all in an attempt to look "perfect", thought if we think about it, it often makes them look like aliens. I don't think most of us even realize how much our ideas about "normal beauty" are warped by Photoshop. Being a photographer, I see it everywhere.

Celebrity women who might call hot, we would likely not think about twice if we saw them on the street and they weren't famous. Their hotness is largely a function of their fame and carefully edited appearance in public. Without their makeup and in jeans and a tee and yesterday's hair--ya know, being "normal"--you wouldn't even recognize them in a store. And that's the god-honest truth.

So sure, those women are pretty...but in real life, they're no more pretty than your girlfriend, sister, many of your friends, etc. And they probably have much more of an ego about it too. Many many women would look just as "hot" if they had the same hair-cosmetic-fashion "treatment" celebrities have.

;-)

But Palin...is "hot" because her caked-on makeup and professionally styled hair, and insistance on wearing skirts hides her average, though pretty, appearance.

If only she cared as much about forming correct English sentences as she cares about her lipstick...Those kind of women are "hot" in my book.