The lesson, as always... Mike's an idiot.

Just a little anecdote from the VP debate last night. Sonja and I were hanging out on the couch, watching Gov. Palin and Sen. Biden go back-and-forth, critiquing their answers and making judgments on their presentation. It was fun - a little adult break from the SportsCenter/Red Sox/Football that usually permeates the airwaves in my apartment.

So there we were, snuggled up on the couch. There was a break in conversation as we watched Palin answer a question and then, quietly, Sonja says, "Are you oogling her?"

(I was a dead man and didn't even know it.)

Without thinking (which is how I usually do things), I said, "No, I'm not oogling her. I think she's hot, but I'm not oogling."

Wrong. Answer. Idiot. Mike.

Let's just say that we didn't watch a single sentence more of the debate.

So, my advice to any of you guys who are watching or involved with any part of the political realm this fall. Do not mention that you find any candidate from either side remotely attractive. I don't care who's got a new hairdo or whether Barak looks yummy in khaki, just shut up about it. Cast your vote only on the politics and do not weigh in on any other debatable topics; you won't win.

In the spirit of the political season, I would now like to post a retraction from my press secretary:

Mike was under mental duress during last night's debate and therefore may have made vocal a lapse in judgment. He respects both parties and both candidates and thinks all of them are handsome all around, even if he can appreciate the quaint accent of a certain Alaskan governor (but that is mostly due to Tina Fey's dead-on inpersonation and not an actual taste for midwestern oooh, ahhhs and aaaais, dooncha knooow?). Governor Palin, although a handsome, older woman, is by no means "hot." Additionally, Rachel McAdams, Jessica Simpson, Natalie Portman, et al are also not "hot." Going forward, Mike will try to pause to give thought before voicing opinions while always respecting the feelings of other females who may be in the vicinity, earshot or within range of SMS text messaging.

Spreading news in the modern era (or, it's impossible to keep a secret)...

It's funny: universal connectivity and the Internet both make life easier and more difficult at the same time.

Example A: Sonja's and my engagement.

We got engaged on a Friday afternoon. It was a great - and personal - event. While we both wanted to tell the world and shout about it from the proverbial rooftops, we had to be careful about it.

Yes, sadly, the fact that I gave my girlfriend (now fiancee) a ring, became a news story that had to be spun.

We couldn't just change the status of our relationship using Facebook or post a MySpace bulletin. Though it's now the easiest way for us to reach everyone in our extended network of friends and relatives, it's also super-impersonal.

However, using the old-school method of calling up people or putting an announcement into the newspaper wouldn't work, either. Who's got the minutes to spare on their cell plan to call dozens of people? And does anyone under the age of 70 actually read the engagement page anymore (most papers don't even put it into their print edition anymore, unless you pay for it).

We knew that we would have to, eventually, share the news of Facebook. But before we did that, we had to carefully control the news and "leak" it out to the right people. If we had hired a mouthpiece and a press secretary, it couldn't have been more orchestrated.

Sonja and I started, of course, by calling our families with the news. Both sets of parents knew that this past Friday was THE DAY I'd propose, so they weren't too surprised to hear the news. We then called our siblings and started the process of clicking through our respective cell phones and making sure our closest friends heard the news first. For her, it meant her best girlfriends and a few from college got the news. On my part, I called my senior-year housies from college and a couple other close friends over the course of the weekend.

But that was it. To be honest, it's sort of a big pain to call and rehash the story time after time (anyone's who's had a kid or gotten engaged knows this). We knew that an email would be the best method of telling everyone. When it's a big piece of news, like the engagement, you want to have everyone tell their side. So it took a while to compose the email together and then put together our lists and send it out.

Hence, the web 2.0 silence for 3 days about the big news - we didn't want to just announce anything to the entire world before we told the people that we wanted to. It was kind of funny, not updating my Twitter, hinting at news on Facebook until we wrote every word, made every call and made sure the timing was right. It was the equivalent to an outlet breaking a news story at 3pm - just in time for the evening news to crash a piece.

So, now you all know. That's what's important. The news is out there and now Sonja and I can figure out what the heck it is you're supposed to do next after you're engaged.

To everyone that we didn't call or missed out on the email - it was an oversight and I'm sorry. I could barely think straight while I was on one knee, proposing to the woman I love. Do you really think I can keep my address book organized? I'm still on cloud 9, pinching myself and making sure it's real.

Thanks for all the love in return from y'all - it means a ton!

Marriage is why we have gathered together today...

Please allow me to share some exciting, personal news before I get back to talking about whatever it is I write about here. This is a copy of an email that went out yesterday... Sonja will guest-blog part of it. Perhaps it's not the best way to make the announcement, but, hey you found out about it!

(And now, a letter from Mike and Sonja)

Dearest Family and Friends,

Please sit down.

Are you sitting? Good, because we have some big stuff to tell you.

We would like to take the opportunity to share the exciting news of our engagement! Mike proposed, Sonja accepted and now comes the exciting part of wedding planning and debt! (Just kidding…it’ll all be wonderful!)

We know you all want the juicy details, and that’s exactly what this email will (hopefully) do!

So…get ready to experience the Mike and Sonja Engagement Story:

---Sonja’s Version---

On Friday, May 16th, Mike and I went on a picnic. Now, this wasn’t really a huge shock because we had planned on picnicking for quite some time; he just decided to keep the location a secret. He picked a perfect spot on Rye Beach. We dined on a grassy patch high enough to view the ocean’s unlimited waters. It was a beautiful day, even though it was slightly chilly and breezy. After stuffing ourselves full of sandwiches and goldfish, he decided to have a surprise up his sleeve…

He had a little date planned in the Fuller Gardens. It’s a turn of the century rose garden on the Seacoast. When we walked over to the gate and realized it was closed, Michael got really upset (if you know Mike, you know he’s not exactly crazy about shrubbery…) I told him that it was not a big deal…we’d just visit another day. He started to get pouty and all grumbly because he called ahead of time and was POSITIVE that the garden would be open! But, knowing there was nothing we could do about it, we decided to take pictures from the gate.

Directly across the street from the Fuller Gardens was this tiny chapel. Michael asked if I wanted to go in, and hesitantly I said “sure”. We heard someone doing construction behind the chapel, so he insisted on talking to the fellow to see if we could go in, even after I told him that we shouldn’t interrupt and just visit another time. After a few minutes of waiting for Mike to return, I walked over to where he and the carpenter were and was introduced to Mitch. Mitch, who was “totally bodacious,” was kind enough to allow us to go inside and peek at the adorable building while he worked outside. The chapel took my breath away. Complete with stained glass and arched open beams, I completely fell in love with the little place. While we snooped around inside, I kept noticing Michael fidgeting behind me… but if you know me, I take things with a grain of salt, and I thought nothing of it. While I was at altar looking around, I turned around and Mike was on his knee! He took my hand and said something… but to be completely honest, I have NO idea what he said. I was in complete shock that he was actually PROPOSING! I asked him if it was a joke, and (thankfully!) he said no. Then, the big question came: “Sonja, will you marry me?” Of course, I said YES!!!!!!

His proposal couldn’t have been more perfect. Afterwards, we thanked Mitch (who Michael had met and planned the proposal with a week before!) and headed for the beach again to celebrate with champagne. I think I cried about a million and twelve times because I was so incredibly happy and surprised. I had NO clue that he would ask me that day, let alone before his departure to Japan and China! It was one of the best days of my life, and I couldn’t ask for a more perfect engagement.

(Oh…and the ring is ABSOULTELY STUNNING! )

Mike and I are so excited to start another chapter in our lives…TOGETHER! This is such an amazing time for us, and we thank you all SO much for the love and support that each and every one of you gives.

We are beyond thankful.


---Mike’s Version---

I don’t have too much to add, I suppose. But I’ll fill in a few of the details.

Since I’m a Nagel (and therefore, totally type-A), I plan things out. The proposal had been in the works for quite a while — I talked with my parents back in February, spoke with Sonja’s at the end of March and then bought the ring in mid-April. I’d been holding back on proposing while I waited for the weather to warm up (Sonja loves flowers, so I wanted to do the proposal outdoors).

I visited Fuller Gardens and the Union Chapel a week earlier to scope things out. The gardeners told me that they’d be open for business, but I either misheard them or they wound up being closed randomly on the day of the proposal. However, when I visited the gardens, I also met Mitch, the friendly surfer-contractor, and arranged for him to let us into the chapel for a viewing when I came back with Sonja. She had no idea that Mitch and I knew each other when we walked up to the church.

We got into the chapel. I had the ring safety-pinned to the inside of my jacket pocket (totally paranoid about losing it). Sonja kept walking around, looking at the Tiffany stained glass windows. I tried to deftly maneuver behind her to get the ring out, but mostly wound up flopping around awkwardly and helplessly. Finally, though, I got it free and shifted it to another pocket.

Just then, Mitch came back into the chapel. He knew I was going to propose there (I’d told him 3-4 times), but the poor dude seemed like he spent too many hours baking in the sun, so I’m not sure if he forgot or what. Anyways, he interrupted us and asked to see Sonja’s ring. Luckily, she wears a promise ring and he seemed satisfied to see that and left. Otherwise, I would have hit him over the head with a 2x4.

Alone once more, I got down on one knee, grabbed Sonja’s right hand, told her that she was the love of my life and asked for her hand in marriage. I like to think I did so eloquently and gallantly. However, I don’t really remember what I said, but I do remember fumbling around with the ring, noticing I had the wrong hand and mumbling, “I need your left one now.”

Despite my poor attempts at a proposal (Guys, if I have any advice it’d be, “Write it out and read it out loud.”), she said, “Yes.” And she cried a lot. And said, “Yes,” some more. I just smiled so much my face hurt.

It was awesome.

I’m so unbelievably excited — Sonja came into my life at just the right time to be my perfect soul mate. I couldn’t imagine a future without her. I love you with all my heart, Sonja.

“And they lived happily ever after…”

To answer your questions, no we don’t have a date. But we’re thinking for late-May, early-June of 2009. In lieu of gifts, please just send large wads of cash. Mike has a ring to pay for, thanks.

(Kidding!)

Sonja and I outside the closed Fuller Gardens

Post-proposal in the chapel

The altar where she said yes.

Outside the chapel (with Mitch's van).

Mitch

Chasing cars...

I don't know if anyone else has been reading the Times this week, but they've been running a terrific daily series on Saudi Arabia. The articles focus specifically on what it's like to be a young person looking for love in the world's most conservative Muslim country.

I highly suggest you check it out. They haven't, as far as I've been able to find, set up a separate section of their website for the series. But here's the link to today's story. If you scroll down to the bottom, you'll see links to the other pieces.

This is a terrific look at the day to day life inside one of the world's most influential countries. Saudi Arabia, in addition to being the largest country in the Middle East, is also (arguably) the most influential. While Iraq and Iran might be in the news more on a regular basis, the other Islamic governments look to the Saudis for leadership on an international front.

The country, and (to a large extent) the Middle East as a whole, is at a crossroads. In an era of globalization and an ever-shrinking world, the isolationist, dictorial, religious-run governments of the past are losing their iron grip over their people - in particular, the younger generation. With cell phones, blogs and web 2.0 networking, lines of communication are penetrating fundamentalist areas like never before. People in their teens and twenties, who once had no future but that which was thrust upon them, now have something that many of us Americans take for granted - choice.

The reason these articles are so striking is that any potential rebellion against traditional values or ways of doing things won't start on an international level; it's not necessarily about opening dialog with leaders, permeating the Middle East with America's Coca-Cola culture or fighting jihadist fire with military firepower. Rather, this is a change that will take place on a personal level in the minds and hearts of the Islamic world's next generation. Each boy and girl will have to make a choice as to the direction their country will take as they step into adulthood.

The main motivator? Not Muhammad, not a hatred of Israel or the west and not oil money. It's love. The simple flirtatious courtship rituals we've held as routine here in the West are what could potentially change the direction of the Middle East. It's incredible to read about, really. Perhaps love really will conquer all? Only time will tell.

Do yourself a favor: read the articles. See what it's like to be a boy, desperate to win the heart of a girl and at the same time, uphold the traditions of Islam. See what it's like to be a girl and forced to dress up like a man to find love and see how the other half lives. Be a teen in the Middle East, in a pack of cars, flying down the highway and trying to catch a glimpse of a girl behind a veil.

I [miss?] NY...

For those of you that don't know, I lived in New York City for just over a year (June '04-August '05). While I wasn't there for the longest of times, my life did confirm to me that I really don't ever need or want to live there again.

Anyone even remotely familiar with the City knows that there are a ton of things to dislike about it:
- it's enormously overwhelming, and that never changes
- living expenses are so wildly out of proportion to the rest of the country
- the abundant bouquet of smells: from the rotting essence of the East River to the garbage-juice squelch streaming down back alleys to the piss-smell of the subways to the fried, over-cooked oil burn of street vendors to the unmistakable and overpowering cologne of a Guido all dolled up for date rape
- paying $12 for a Corona, repeatedly
- the thousands of mustachioed Yankee fans
- JAPs
- massive crowds blocking sidewalks, taking pictures of buildings, hideously-decorated Christmas trees and the dark Today Show studio in Rockefeller Center, thereby causing your commute time to double during the months of October-January
- the way the wind whips up and down the Avenues, turning the city grid into one giant wind tunnel
- people. Everywhere. All the time.
- Times Square

I could go on, but you get my point. New York is a rough town to make it in. I think if I had stayed, I could've gotten used to a lot of that, but, quite frankly, I didn't want to. I was comfortable being an outsider and I never wanted to become a "true New Yorker." Now, I know enough to take visitors around to the main sights, go to a few out-of-the-way places and have favorite restaurants, coffee shops and bars. That's all I really need.

Every now and then, though, I do start to miss life in the Big Apple. These feelings are fleeting and they're never accompanied by a desire to pack up my cheaper, bigger and better-located apartment in Boston and head south, but they do happen from time to time.

For example, I was walking through Copley Square here in Beantown the other night and saw the image above. It's pretty and full of holiday cheer, but that's not what grabbed me. What got to me were how the lights from the tall buildings sparkled against a clear, cold night sky. Looking up, I was able to ignore the few people around me and enjoyed a brief, sparkling moment of Zen.
(Either that or the burrito I had for lunch was acting up.)

Sometimes, when I lived in the City, I'd have those same moments. Most often, they would come on a Sunday night, after I left my church. Morningstar New York is located in midtown, in an old, renovated theater. Some nights, when the snow fell softly over the city, I'd decide to talk the long way to the subway. Instead of catching the N train around the corner from the church, I'd bundle up, wrap my scarf around my face and walk a mile north to 63rd and Lex.

It was like stepping into a photograph. Nine p.m. on a Sunday night, after the shops close and taxis look elsewhere for business, the east side died down. I could walk for blocks and not see another person out-of-doors. The snow would crunch softly under my feet as I picked my way across the concrete sidewalk slabs. The big, white flakes drifted down and the skyscrapers loomed above me, lit up and stretching toward the sky. It was as if I was walking inside of a giant snow globe.

Invariably, I'd switch to listening to Death Cab of on my iPod... the mournful sounds of Transatlanticism filling my ears...

I need you so much closer
I need you so much closer
I need you so much closer
I need you so much closer

At times like those, completely alone in a city of millions, I'd find a peace unlike any I've felt before or since. It was the sort of mournful solace that only comes from a solitude multiplied against the masses.

I felt a touch of that here in Boston the other night and, just for a brief instant, I missed New York.


------
Thanks to Jessa Barder for the photo. I stole it from her facebook page, not having the wherewithal to take the picture when I was actually there.