I am Silent Thunder...

A while back, I was gmail-chatting with my friend and former co-worker Liz when the subject of nicknames came up.

Liz - "Some friends call me Lizzle."

Me - "Makes sense... I like 'Lizzle.' I've never had a nickname. Well, except for Nagel-Bagel, which all the kids in kindergarten used to chant."

Liz - "Well, we need to find you a nickname..."

She then went on to try a few until she hit on one that rang.

Liz - "I've got it! MURDERFACE! You'll be Michael MURDERFACE Nagel!"

It was my very first nickname.

It rocked. I liked it... it was unique, had a ring to it and matched nicely with my first name. Alliteration is always awesome.

The problem was, it didn't stick. Maybe it was because Liz didn't tell many people (I would have, but you're not supposed to spread your own nickname, a la George as "T-Bone" in Seinfeld). More likely, though, it was because it didn't quite fit me. You see, MURDERFACE is an imposing moniker. It signifies raw power, brute strength, tattoos and probable love for motorcycles. But, as anyone who knows me can tell you, that's not quite me. I'm 5'8" (on a good day, when earth's gravitational pull is less), 160 (when the pull's stronger) dislike needles and like shoe-shopping (tides, distance from the sun and the earth's rotation have no effect on that).

So, I found myself once again nicknameless.

At least, that was the case until my Beijing prep class at school. You see, it's traditional for Chinese to have both Western and traditional names (Hence, the plethora of "Johnny's" and "Rose's" at serving at Asian restaurants). For our semester-long class, our professor Shu-jen, gave us Mandarin monikers. They all were supposed to represent the common first names and surnames we'd encounter in China.

Mine was simple enough - "Lei Muo." There are accents on each syllable - the first goes up and the second descends. So, when you say it it sounds like "Lay! Moo-oh." Not too bad, easy enough to remember. It wasn't any big deal until I asked her what it meant.

We were going around the classroom, each person repeating their names and practicing pronunciation when I inquired to the name's definition. Shu-jen looked down at her class roster with Mandarin characters next to each person. Then, she smiled. And giggled. And laughed out loud. Until then, she hadn't thought of its meaning; she'd just put together two common names.

Lei Muo, in Mandarin, apparently means, "Silent Thunder."

You know what I learned that day? Besides the meaning of my Chinese name, that is.

I discovered that if you're nicknamed after a fart, it'll stick.

World, meet Silent Thunder! Bring it...

Coldplay - Violet Hill... LOTD

As promised, I have Coldplay's new single, "Violet Hill," up her for Pando-users to download. I don't know if it's illegal, but if you're Chris Martin and you somehow stumbled onto my crappy blog, then tell me to take it down and I will. I'm only putting it up here because you guys gave it away for free and I want everyone to go out there and buy the album and make you infinitely more wealthy.

How's that for a disclaimer?

Also, I'm putting it up because it took me three days to get the link sent to me via email and I'm assuming most of you are having the same problems.

It is still available on the band's site, so feel free to grab it there, too.

Happy listening! Let me know what you think in the comments...

Whatever happened to art? Abortions and starved dogs...

I'm going to rant and maybe I'm going to preach a little here, so bear with me.

Undoubtedly, you've heard about the two "art" exhibits that made headlines over the past couple weeks, In case you haven't, though, let me refresh your memory.

First, there was Aliza Shvarts, the Yale art major whose final project was a combined media installation. The premise behind her exhibition was to make a documentary of her 9-month experience with self-impregnation followed by repeated abortions. Shvarts filmed every resulting miscarriage and her installation was a looped video showing the documentary along with preserved specimens of the blood from the abortions.

Then, we had Guillermo Vargas, a Nicaraguan artist who paid two local children to trap a stray dog. Vargas then tied the dog up inside a gallery, just out of reach of dog food arranged to say, "You are what you read." The pooch starved to death over the course of several days, but not before several portraits were taken, several featuring the legs of anonymous viewers who looked, but did not help the "exhibit."

Thankfully, after the stories hit the public eye and some background investigation happened, it appears that both are likely hoaxes. Neither babies nor dogs were harmed in the process. The only victim, it would seem, is art itself.

Perhaps no blog post - or blog itself for that matter - is long enough to successfully and comprehensively debate the "What is art?" question. And maybe I'll be accused of using the Supreme Court's definition of pornography ("I'll know it when I see it."), but so be it.

Neither exhibit was art.

What happened to the times when art served a purpose? When a painting was supposed to thrill and inspire you? When the beauty of nature was celebrated in galleries and on canvases? When the best in mankind could be found in the monumental works of the great masters? Have we really come so far as to think that videotaped abortions and starving puppies are great works of art?

On a base level, you might say, art is supposed to get a reaction out of the viewer. Both of those pieces did that. However, I would only agree to a point - more than one simple reaction (in this case, disgust) is necessary. Art should drive us to experience the thrill of having our higher senses tantalized, not make appeals solely to the basest of instincts.

Let me put it more simply. If you and I were in a quiet, well-lit room, surrounded by squares of color on the walls and I punched you in the face, that would not be art, no matter how much of a reaction I got out of you. But apparently, it's okay to do the same thing with aborted fetuses and dead dogs? Bollocks.

Post-post-post-modernism, or whatever you want to call it, has gone too far. Shock value has replaced emotional connection. Irony has supplemented true communication. It makes me sick and I'm sick of it.

I'm no artist, so I can't create something beautiful as a reaction to all the ugliness I see around me. But what I can do is use the power of the almighty dollar and not patronize that crap. I hope those around me with more artistic talent, and more money, will do the same.

I'm Mike Nagel and I approved this message.

Peking Duck - the Chinese Chicken

Trying new foods is one of my favorite parts about traveling. I love sampling local cuisine and regional specialties. In fact, some of my best meals have come while tasting something new - eggs poached in wine in Burgundy, a Guinness as my first beer (ever) in London, Celcuk tost in Ephesus, char grilled oysters in New Orleans or chicken gizzards in Prague.

In prepping for China, one of the things I'm most excited about is the food. Beijing is China's culinary center of the north and, as the capital city, is a host for food from all of Asia. From the Islamic foods of the Uighurs who live in western China, to Mongolian hot pot dishes, to the sweet and saucy Cantonese that we're familiar with - Beijing has it all.

Peking Duck is, by far, the most famous dish produced in Beijing. It’s a delicacy that takes an entire day to produce. Fattened ducks are first killed, plucked and cleaned. Then air is pumped underneath the skin to separate it from the fat beneath. After that, the birds are soaked in boiling water and hung up to dry (Hence, the common, Chinatown sight of birds hanging in the windows). While the ducks are hanging, they’re glazed with maltose (malt sugar) syrup. After they’ve hung to dry for 24 hours, the duck is then roasted in an oven for about an hour, until it turns shiny brown. The ovens are fired using wood from fruit trees — the smoke giving the meat a sweeter flavor.

Two of my classmates - Suzy and Anna - and I discovered a hole-in-the-wall restaurant in Boston's Chinatown that serves authentic Chinese food. If you every have a chance, check out King Fung... you won't be disappointed. Like most restaurants Stateside, much of what they offer is Cantonese. However, they did have a few dishes from the north - including the famous Peking Duck. We ordered a day in advance and booked a duck for lunch yesterday.

Let me tell you - it was delicious!

The waitress brought out the entire duck - from beak to feet - for us to peruse at the beginning of the meal. It was steaming hot with glazed, red skin. I think it even winked at me before the server whisked it away for the chef to slice and dice.

Duck is traditionally served in three stages. First, diners receive a platter of the skin and drumsticks accompanied by sides of hoi san (garlic) sauce, steamed pancakes and scallions. You're supposed to make tiny burritos of everything and chow down with your hands, so we did. The skin is pretty resilient, especially since it's basically been lacquered with the sugar basting materials, so there was plenty of fingerwork involved in trying to get everything into our mouths. And there was an abundance of napkin usage, too. Duck is greasy and the juices are kept in by the thick skin during baking.

Second course was a stir fry of vegetables (in our case, carrots, onions, snow peas and bean sprouts) with the duck's meat - boy, was it piled high! Our meal could have easily served five or six, but we valiantly tried to man up and finish it all. We were unsuccessful. I guess we just boyed-up or something.

The final course is a duck soup made with the breastbone and neck. The thin broth tastes quite a bit like chicken stock and comes with chunks of tofu, cabbage and onions. It was a little weird finishing off with the lightest portion of the meal, but by the time we got to the third course, we were all stuffed anyway. So the liquid finish turned out to be the right call.

If you're in Boston and looking for a fun, cheap meal (a day in advance), definitely give King Fung a call. The waitress speaks English, it's easy to find and the whole shebang is only $34 - total, not per person (cash only). Definitely give it a try.

I cannot wait to get to Beijing and see how the fatted ducks there compare.

Quack, quack.

Duck, Party of Three

First course
Second Course
Third - and the bird is done

Death Cab for Cutie downloads...

One of my favorite bands, Death Cab for Cutie, has another full-length dropping in a couple weeks. In advance of the album, Daytrotter has put up a six-song, live session for free download. Here's the track list:

1) A Movie Script Ending
2) Cath
3) Styrofoam Plates
4) Talking Bird
5) The New Year
6) Why You'd Want to Live Here

Tracks two and four are from the upcoming disc, Narrow Stairs. The others are favorites from The Photo Album and Transatlanticism, both of which you really should own. Heck, you should celebrate their entire catalog.

Want a taste? I've put up the tracks here for you to download, too, as long as you have Pando. If you don't, go get it or visit Daytrotter to get the files there. Heck, visit that last site anyway as a little web thank-you for the session.

Also, Coldplay just released the first single of its upcoming album for free download, too. I haven't gotten it yet, but I heard it and it's not bad. I'll post it later.

Chinese fashion tips...

Beijing, 24 April - The Beijing Organizing Committee for the Olympic Games (BOCOG) debuted the volunteer uniforms to tumultuous approval of Chinese authorities and Hello Kitty fans alike a short time ago.

Volunteers for the 2008 Summer Games, which kick off in less than 100 days, will be required to sport the snazzy threads while at the event venues. This will include members (the low-level ones without any sort of pull or influence) of the Olympic News Service.

The uniforms, which scream both "professionalism" and "Liberace," are comprised of a polyester collared shirt, windbreaker, zip-cargo pants, bucket hat, baseball cap, shoes, water bottle and, yes, the fanny pack members of Eastern European bloc countries mandated should appear at all Olympics. The Germans, however, were defeated in their proposal to include a three pairs of colored crew socks and Birkenstock sandals in the uniform.

All articles of clothing will sport the five-ring Olympic symbol along with the Beijing 2008 logo. Additionally, the tops and hats will also be decorated in a power-blue, paisley wave motif which will help distinguish the volunteers from athletes, spectators and anyone with fashion sense.

BOCOG plans to limit the honeybee population in Beijing by moving thousands of hives south to Shanghai. In doing so, they hope to eliminate random bee stings by insects confused by the vibrant, florescent, floral prints of the uniforms.

For pictures of smiling Chinese runway models sporting the gear, click here.

LOTD... or This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse...

Normally, I wouldn't bother you with such trite material, but this was just too terrible to pass up. This is an actual song by an "artist" named Riskay who apparently has (incredibly) a SECOND album coming out. Yes, the world been subjected to not one, but two Riskay offerings.

Apparently, the tune "hit big in 2007" as an Internet session. Whatever. It's called "Smell Yo' 'Weewee'" and is the thrilling story of a girl who, suspecting her man is cheating, tells him to drop trou so she can... well, you get the point.

I'd say enjoy, but I don't think you will. Try not to bang your head onto your desk in horror and/or paroxysms of laughter.

(PS - NSFW)

Editor's note: I decided I couldn't, with good conscience, keep the video posted here. If you really want to see it, here's the link. But you're going to have to leave my site to see it.

Editor's update: There's also an acoustic version. Rock on.