Mike is like a steak...

...in that, he's well done.

That's right. I just turned in my thesis yesterday. 122 pages of earth-shattering, paradigm-shifting, bowel-quaking brilliance. And, once I reformat it to meet the department's requirements, my brilliance will probably stretch to 140 pages or so (Yes, it's spread thin).

WHEW.

Talk about a sigh of relief. I feel like I'm tasting freedom. I feel liberated. I feel like the world is my oyster, if only I would reach out and shuck it-shuck it long and shuck it hard. So, what am I doing in my first thesis-free day in four months?

Sitting in my chair, drinking a beer, watching TV out of the corner of my eye and writing to you guys. Yes, I know how to live life to the fullest. Rock 'n roll, bay-bee!

It's all good. Truth be told, I once again missed writing here, especially since my page views and comments are up (Thank you, friends, family and Internet stalkers). My new discover, courtship and long-term commitment to Twitter hasn't dissuaded me from posting posts of 140+ characters. However, when you're swilling coffee, banging at a keyboard until your fingertips bleed and questioning everything you've done for the past three years, you don't have much time for weblogging, you know?

But I'm back and it's for good. Or for now, at least.

There's a lot going on in my life right now and, of course, I feel like I need to share it online, so I'll get back to doing that. Upcoming posts can/may/will be on the following topics:

- a book deal
- new music for me to illegally share
- Banana slings
- Beijing, baby
- Mike's next blossoming career as a viral video star
- faking death to avoid school loan payments
- the Red Sox
- the worrisome feeling that I may be allergic to my apartment. Or my body hair.
- softball season starting up
- flip-flops
- Brazilian waxes

Who's excited? I'm excited. How 'bout yourself?

In the words of the immortal Jay-Z:
"When I come back like Jordan / wearing the four-five / It's not to play games with you / It's to aim at you"

I'm not dead yet...

No, my friends, I haven't kicked the bucket yet. Nor have I been eaten by a moose in the nether regions of New Hampshire.

I was suffering from an absolutely horrible case of writer's block. You see, I'm working on my thesis (I think I've mentioned it here, but it's the culmination of three years' work, 60 grand and the capstone on a completely non-marketable MFA). It's due to my reader and adviser in about five weeks. Ten days ago, I completely conked out - I was sick of the project, didn't know where to go with it next, out of ideas and couldn't string together two coherent paragraphs.

For my subscribing faithful, you'll probably ask, "How is that any different than your writing here, Mike?"

In which case, I'm smack you in the face. But point duly noted.

Anyways, I felt like if I wasn't working on the thing that I've left my job to actually work on, then the last thing I should be doing is writing about the miscellany in my life that appears here. It's not that I don't love you readers (yes, all 2 and a half of you), it's just that I am a man of principles. Sometimes. And my principles said that I had to churn out another chapter of thesifizing before I posted another blog to destroy your workplace productivity.

But good news. I sat myself town and told myself, "Mike - now I don't like you and you don't like me - but we're going to lock ourselves in this room and not come out until you have 10 or more pages written that don't look like used Charmin." And it worked. I'm on a roll now (which is like unused Charmin).

Alas, this is not the long-awaited, genius post that you've come to expect, nay demand, from my thoroughly unprofitable site. Those are coming. For now, I've got a meeting that I have to get to, so you're just getting this update, a LOTD and two YouTube videos I've become obsessed with. See, I can make sure your productivity plummets even without writing.

You're welcome.

---Link of the Day---
Check out Pando.com. My brother alerted me to this site. It's a way to send large files (up to 1 gig) for free. So, basically, we're using it to illegally share music. Can I get an "Amen!"?

Also, it has a handy function that will allow me to post files here. Once I figure out how that works, I'll probably post some sample tracks that you can try for free and then go buy the album so I don't get sued.

---Videos of the Day---
Okay, so over 15 million people have already seen these on YouTube, but in case you haven't, I enjoyed them. You will, too. Both are from Jimmy Kimmel's late night show on ABC, which I don't watch, but do enjoy every time I happen to flick through it.
"Sarah Silverman - 'I'm doing Matt Damon'"








...and the response...



Talk soon!